[i think sometimes it hurts to feel empty]

i can't remember what icons i use on different days lol. i cut myself last night. i stole a box cutter from my job. i'm used to knives and not razors so it's a little difficult to use. i haven't done it in so long. my legs burn but it'll go away in a few days. i'm stressing about my credits, i want to graduate so bad but i'm barely trying. i don't know what's wrong with me and my stupid dumb brain. i KNOW i'm smart, but i don't make smart choices. it's hard to clean the cuts with little cotton balls, but i don't have many other things aside from toilet paper. i was too excited to cut again, there's definitely something wrong with me. it's not like it FEELS good: it's pretty painful! but i keep having the urge and listening to it. i can stop if i wanted to but i don't want to, and that's the problem, the want is what's wrong. i lasted a whole year without it and i've gone crawling back. i want a drink.

i'm sitting next to an insufferable couple at school. i'm only sitting here because my next class is down this hallway but jesus christ they're so cringey. today's been boring. it's hard to type listening to these people; i don't have my earbuds.