i met up with a friend from high school. i haven't seen them since july when i saw them and R. they don't go by their old name anymore, so i'll refer to them as A.

we met up at this bakery cafe whatever place that i found and got food and stuff, they bought everything for me out of their own generosity. we talled outside in the cold wet air for 2 hours, then we went to the mall that was nearby. we smoked a bit before going into the mall, i took 3 hits and they took 2. i wasn't planning on taking that many, but i thought it would be fine. well it was not fine.

i greened out. i was super, super high and could barely be attached to reality. it was so much. i felt way too vulnerable and felt like everyone was WATCHING. i didn't want to feel that way around my mom, little brother, and A. it made me very uncomfortable, i went into the car until i felt a little better, then we went all through the mall. i got some bracelets, a pair of pants, and exactly 3 incense. A bought more stuff for themself, also they bought everything for me because they like doing that. i was grateful, and i felt better and was having a good time. after a while they were mostly in their own little world and i was having a hard time talking because i didn't really want to. my parents took us home about when the place was closing. i wanted to go to the arcade but we just didn't :T

i was so high for so long, i just feel really tired right now, drained. but i'm fine. i just wish i didn't smoke that much, jeez.

i had a fun time, but next time i hang out with A i want a third party because it was lowkey awkward. i've never been close to A, we've never "clicked" very well. there's always a layer of awkwardness between us. they talk a lot and are very open about their feelings, i am too but it feels weird, and our humor doesn't sync very well. and they can get moody sometimes. i'd like to hang out with them and R next time we do something, but R is so busy and never answered my text even though i'm sure she saw it. she's just busy.

i think i'm going to apply for college this year. i'm so bored and getting a job has been so pointless, it's like no one looks at my applications. i don't know if it's me or what, i thought my application was good. but anyway, i'm gonna apply. i have to do SOMETHING. i miss learning, and meeting people, doing stuff, just being busy. i'm stuck in my room too long. i can't get a job so i guess i'll go to college so i'm not a total NEET like i am right now.

i'm gonna look at l4d2 mods and play l4d2 with my friends. it's saturday so J doesn't have work tomorrow :) oh and i've been playing cookie clicker
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grim_b0nes: he gun (Default)
what the hell

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