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i went to the lake with my family today. everyone that was there was my parents & little brother, grandpa, other grandpa, 2 aunts + 1 uncle, 3 cousins + the one cousin's wife, and some family friend i don't know but have seen around for years. i ate half a ham sandwich and a couple small bags of chips, and water (a little bit of monster (guava flavor (they have that i guess))). it was hot but we had sunscreen, and i mostly sat in the shade and was only a little sweaty under my clothes. talked to my family, i talked a lot to my cousin's wife, she has a weirdly fucked up life apparently. she talks a lot, but i talked a bit too, wish i could have talked more. i don't really like talking to quiet people, i'm quiet myself, don't need more quiet people. i also don't like people who seem to easily talk about their childhood problems or mental illness, she actually reminds me of A lol. she's not bad though, i don't mind her, just wish i could have talked to my aunts more. or my cousin, he's cool, and he had a walker for some reason. i guess he had something go on, the last time i heard about him he was living in NYC with his girlfriend, but now he's here? i don't get the situation, i didn't ask why he had the walker because it felt rude.
overall i had a good time at the lake. took a shower when i got home despite taking one yesterday but i'm on my period and i wanted to wash off all the sunscreen and other dirtiness from being outside. oh yeah, we saw this spider with little green eyes (or maybe fangs it was hard to tell) a little fuzzy body and little yellow markings on its abdomen. i think it was a jumping spider. i held it a little, it crawled on my cousin's leg, i was surprised how half of them didn't seem to mind the spider (my cousin didn't want to accidentally crush it) i put it on a tree per my dad's instruction so the babies didn't run it over. i think there was a different spider too but i can't remember. i like spiders. there were wasps too but no one got stung so it was fine. my parents left early but i stayed until everyone went home, grandpa taking me back, i got 2 drinks and beef jerky on the way. then i ate pizza rolls for dinner cuz i didn't really eat at the lake. yeaaah. didn't vc with my friends tonight because i didn't feel like it and was immersed in internet drama.
i get so parasocial sometimes, i don't even realize i'm doing it like i imagine meeting or talking to youtubers or famous people. like that will never happen, but what if i did talk to them or something man? like what if??? i don't know if that's very parasocial actually.
i became emotional remembering some things about Family. i vented about it to my group chat but i don't know who will even read it. i don't have much else to write. i'm gonna use the bathroom. i have too much acne.
overall i had a good time at the lake. took a shower when i got home despite taking one yesterday but i'm on my period and i wanted to wash off all the sunscreen and other dirtiness from being outside. oh yeah, we saw this spider with little green eyes (or maybe fangs it was hard to tell) a little fuzzy body and little yellow markings on its abdomen. i think it was a jumping spider. i held it a little, it crawled on my cousin's leg, i was surprised how half of them didn't seem to mind the spider (my cousin didn't want to accidentally crush it) i put it on a tree per my dad's instruction so the babies didn't run it over. i think there was a different spider too but i can't remember. i like spiders. there were wasps too but no one got stung so it was fine. my parents left early but i stayed until everyone went home, grandpa taking me back, i got 2 drinks and beef jerky on the way. then i ate pizza rolls for dinner cuz i didn't really eat at the lake. yeaaah. didn't vc with my friends tonight because i didn't feel like it and was immersed in internet drama.
i get so parasocial sometimes, i don't even realize i'm doing it like i imagine meeting or talking to youtubers or famous people. like that will never happen, but what if i did talk to them or something man? like what if??? i don't know if that's very parasocial actually.
i became emotional remembering some things about Family. i vented about it to my group chat but i don't know who will even read it. i don't have much else to write. i'm gonna use the bathroom. i have too much acne.
